Barb & The Raging, Critical, Coercive Controller
In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Barb shares the story of surviving a 22-year marriage to a raging, critical, coercive controller. Raised in purity culture and taught that a wife should defer to her husband, Barb believed she had found the man God intended for her when she met a charismatic church leader while living abroad. His confidence, painful childhood, inspiring words, and welcoming family made him appear safe. However, the early love bombing soon became a push-pull cycle of affection withdrawal, criticism, humiliation, and sudden rage that left Barb constantly trying to regain his approval.
After they married, the control expanded into nearly every part of Barb’s life. He criticized her appearance, language, parenting, emotions, rest, and personality while using religion, money, sexual coercion, intimidation, and threats involving their children to keep her trapped. Barb learned to watch his facial expressions for signs of an approaching rage, silence herself in public, and remain productive whenever he was nearby. She explains how therapy, documenting the abuse, and accepting that she could not make him change helped her finally leave, return to the United States with her sons, rebuild her career, and create a peaceful life where she is free to be herself.
It's a story of rage, control, narcissistic abuse, religious abuse, financial control, physical abuse, sexual coercion, sexual abuse, empathy, nitpicking, putdowns, autonomy, isolation, silencing, gaslighting, humiliation, withdrawing, push-pull dynamics, power dynamics, waling on eggshells, doubt, intimidation, threats, love bombing, parenting, minimization, circular conversations, confusion, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, promises to change, blame shifting, time control, and documenting.
CONTENT WARNING - THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL COERCION, SEXUAL ABUSE, & THE CHANNELING OF THE ABUSER'S VOICE.
If you are in search of therapy from professionals dedicated to dealing with TRAUMA - Narcissist Apocalypse recommends REBOUND THERAPY and they can be reached at hellorebound.com/na
Click if you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please send us an email at narcissistapocalypse@pm.me
Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns
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