How an Abuser Refusing to Make Decisions Becomes a Form of Control
In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses how an abusive person can maintain control while appearing to let their partner make every decision. They refuse to participate, leave the planning and responsibility to someone else, and then criticize, blame, sulk, or become angry once a choice has been made.
Brandon explains how this creates a no-win situation where the victim must constantly predict what the abuser wants, despite never being told what that is. Over time, the victim may take on the invisible labor of running the household, managing the finances, and preventing problems, while the abuser remains outside the process until there is something to criticize.
The episode also explores how this pattern creates plausible deniability, keeps the victim focused on avoiding negative reactions, and slowly damages their confidence in their own judgment. What appears to be freedom can become a system of control built around blame, moving goalposts, and the fear of making the wrong choice.
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Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns
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